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Clown​’​s Ride on a Kangaroo

by Bloom de Wilde

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about

It was early 2012. I woke up from a dream and wrote down these lines, pondering their meaning. Somehow it seemed to involve a bold, kaleidoscopic adventure, full of colourful twists and turns; jerky, meandering. Crazy, fun, ridiculous, tricky, exquisite, unpredictable, slightly scary. Expect the unexpected.

It was a strange and liminal time. I had just come out of a longterm relationship, and I had no idea what my future would bring. It was as if I were standing on the edge of a world, waiting for a new world to arise; heart racing, yet impeccably ready for whatever was to come. Little did I know..

I was sofa-surfing homeless. Penniless. Liberated. Joyous. Curious. I was in a crazy underground band. We played all the festivals: music, mud, love, mad outfits, dancing all night long. I fell hopelessly in love with my friend and bandmate. I found a warehouse space to live in; it fit all my instruments and stuff and cats and I didn’t have to pay a deposit or prove I was a responsible adult. It was green and fun and there was a mouldy bathroom too, and wafer thin walls so you could hear your flatmates fart and other things, but that was not a problem.

And then.. one of our tunes -the silliest one, of course - was played on the radio. A radio station I had never listened to: BBC Radio 1. And they played it not just once, but several times. And again.
And then we were playing Secret Garden Party, as we always did, and something strange happened, something totally crazy insane wonderful woah wtf: The whole crowd started to sing along my dadaist rap lyrics. The lyrics that I had improvised and recorded in one take in the studio, after a few years of free-styling them live, never wanting to fix them; this was my version of a sax solo you see. But now everyone sang them, word for word; my silly sense of humour inside jokes to-self. It was amazing.

And we signed to Warner and we recorded a video and we suddenly had a massive #1 hit. We toured with a full band, fans queueing up to see us play, security guards escorting me to the bathroom so I didn’t have to queue for the loo, VIP areas and champagne and interviews and Top of the Pops; travelling to Australia and playing on the final of X factor: my in-ears falling out, choking on the confetti so I kind of messed it up, and we went looking for Elton John who was there too but never found him.
People filmed themselves on social media, dancing to the song or recreating the video. I didn’t even have a smart phone, and I was hiding under the kitchen table from all this craziness, but I loved it, and I was afraid of it, and I noticed how quickly one gets accustomed to 5* hotel rooms and travelling to Australia and looking fabulous, and yet, who am I, thought I, who is this? Can I create a character to protect myself? But who is this character? And can I get away with not speaking in public, ever?

We were expected to create a follow up. Of course. And though we had recorded a full album of songs ready, they (label, managers, The Radio) wanted it to be like Bom Bom. But how could I do that? Something that was created so spontaneously, effortlessly, lightheartedly; it seemed impossible to recreate that deliberately. We came up with many things but somehow I started to feel like a caricature of myself. It did not feel right. I felt confused, anxious, under pressure. And the more I tried, the more it seemed contrived. I felt I was disappointing everyone around me; it just seemed impossible to crack the code. The very freedom and joyousness that were captured in the lyrics of Bom Bom became a little box that contained me, keeping me captive. Access denied.

So we decided to stay true to ourselves. Releasing the music we wanted to release. And we did, for many years; bringing colourful, joyous music into the world, playing countless gigs and festivals, making our own videos and art work.

In 2021, I found myself again standing on the edge of the world, contemplating my existence. I knew it was time to create my own universe: to create the solo album that I had envisioned for many years. And it began with writing a song. A song about a song that took us on a mad, surreal adventure. About a love that has gone full circle. About losing yourself and finding yourself and staying true to the Path of the Heart, no matter what.

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released October 27, 2023

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Bloom de Wilde London, UK

Bloom de Wilde is a London based singer-songwriter, producer and instrument of Imaginative Revelations. She fuses dream, ethno & experimental art pop, folk and jazz with surrealistic yet uplifting lyrics and unconventional melodies to create exuberant, colourful soundscapes that transport us to dreamy, faraway places. ... more

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